weeknotes 32.36
gosh darn it im gonna post on time today!! so the format will be bad because idc!!!
im 31000 ft up in the air and the flight is just about an hour so thats all the time im allowing myself to type and im going to post as soon as i land regardless if whether or not i am done. i need Restriction again. but when i get my orange juice (a must on every flight where drinks are free) or a gingerale i will prob try to enjoy it before i go bake in 41/42 c.
okay so im Starving because im hoping theres food upon arrival which is the best thing about staying with family, but i will also devour whatever snack southwest gives out now. i loved southwest before the changes but this is Okay. regular ass airline now. ummm gas should hopefully go down!!! i have very low faith in the current situation but i havent looked into whatever “deal” was struck, but i know i paid $5.80 last time i got a full tank.
ive never mentioned it but my coworker, my partner is addicted to sports betting and i definitely enable it because i lend him money but we have a tracker on our shared cubicle that discreetly looks like engineering nonsense but i will update next week with his win loss ratio and how much money he is up or down. its all world cup bets and its typically over two. idk how sports work especially soccer. but hes currently down!! lmao. so everyone has been getting together after work and watching the games but i have no interest and i cant really drink tuff like that… i will probably get peer pressured into going one day.
anyways!! rianne came over on my 1 day off and i gave her a bunch of things i picked and she made me peanut butter cookies. i love to Trade and Barter. we made plans to go hiking. she wanted to wear a jacket for the mist trail and i said it was pointless and so i had to have her admit i was right. you just go on that hike expecting to be Wet. but june in yosemite?? you will be sopping wet on the mist trail. we will prob go hiking in 2 weeks? yay. its been a while.
also airline boarding groups are just a modern day caste system. but i am also saying that from my extra leg room seat…
ive had a boring week and i probably will for a while… so now its just time to ramble!!
umm its a hard topic to try to sum up in a 1hr and 7 min flight and i cant even type that fast on an iphone. but its been on my mind but i told nathan that i feel more like myself online than i do in real life.
and then to be pretentious i brought up sartre and existence precedes essence. on the assumption that everyone has a basic grasp on philosophy this is the most helpful way to explain in my 67 minutes. but now with internet broadly meaning social media and the desire to be instagram famous or some influencer it seems that the internet now is very much vibe and essence first because marketability of your internet presence is probably the best bet for upward mobility. so i dont really blame people. but i dont like it!!
(honey roasted pistachios were the plane snack, no shells)
idk!! i often feel like im being interrogated by people irl in a way i dont feel with online friends. i can just say whatever random things i want and people dont think twice about it. and i miss trolling. i feel more free posting and also consuming random things and not needing to explain anything. like i love extremely niche bits between me and One person. i will post these publicly and i dont wanna elaborate!! the internet is not serious to me. it also sounds dumb but instagram is the only real social media i use but i also hate posting on it!! because i dont wanna explain things and i love gatekeeping. literally 10 years ago someone was like “oh yeah i saw that on your instagram” like three times in the same conversation and i realized how boring it made talking with other people who already knew what i was up to!!
i understand how hypocritical it seems as i post this on a Public Blog but i hated posted things online for people i knew. it took the joy out of posting. i hated people in real life seeing a more personal side to myself. i hated having to answer why i was doing something, but i liked sharing that i was doing something. and sharing to online friends that i was doing something cool scratched the itch. i just wanted to exist. my 1 example for this is one time i went mushroom foraging. and its like why cant i just post my haul without answering why i went (or why i have a random selection of mushrooms). i went because someone invited me?? and on the internet i want to be ignored until its relevant to someone. our shared interest in something has created an opportunity for connection. i love to be a reply guy to people i think are cool!! and thats how the internet is, surrounding yourself with people you think are cool.
(second plane snack is sweet maui onion pretzels)
nd there is also the fact marginalized groups often had to use the internet to connect to people. i think some people often forget that the internet can be the only place that people can be free from expectations of the people in their real life. not to act like im marginalized lmao, but for niche or embarrassing interests when i was a teenager the internet was the only source and community i had for things. i miss forums so much.
i was looking at pics on my recent trip to visit nathan (and sean for one night at trinas and pops pinball) in boston/copenhagen and its funny to think that 16 years ago by making/posting anime gifs and my daily life i made a friendship that could now get a license to drive. and its fun to do yearly offkai trips!! like maybe next year tcaf!! and taiwan.
ive done a bad example of explaining and this is why i actually try to think before i post but the plane is descending and i want to pee as soon as i get off the plane.
also having a mental breakdown on the internet is so much more fun in real life.
another fun bit that i thought would be funny is if i stopped typing mid sentence and posting like that. i wont do it. i love being a silly lil guy but ill be serious i guess