weeknotes 32.11
hi bestie,
vibe: i just wrapped my last two gifts. currently waiting for some cookie dough to soften so i can roll it out or portion it out for cookies.
smell: le labo the noir. not good on me. the matcha is better but not as good as replica matcha meditation, but you never know until you try i guess. i love the idea of le labo but out of the 5 or so scents i've tried, none have been amazing. its also been mostly at a duty free shop so then i smell like two different things that do not suit me for an entire plane ride. i'm so sorry whoever sits next to me.
drinking: water, i already had 2 coffees... might do a third when i make some caramel.
anyways,
this past week i had two xmas work parties!! one was after work at a place nearby. everyone else ordered alcohol and appetizers, except me and my partner asked who was paying (my boss), and then ordered entrees hahahahhahaha. it was nice, i'm glad i went. i didn't go last year but i believe its because i was getting my car fixed that day. the other was during work at our usual staff meeting. we did a white elephant if you wanted to participate. but because i don't want Things i just bought 5 $20 giftcards and raffled them off. then we raffled off leftover gifts which were mostly from people buying gifts for everyone but miscounting because some people were on PTO already. small gifts, like chocolates and scratchers. and the two supervisors won my giftcards and then they gave theirs up which i re-raffled. i should've quizzed them and make them work for their giftcards smh. and to be insane i told the supervisors it would be fun to do a "wrapped" at the end of 2026, but i just need to start tracking metrics in 2026. something like high low buffalo. i have a lot of things that track the good and bad at just about every level. but for the buffalo i need time to think of things that i think are good, and not easily trackable, and one for each of the departments to not be biased. or things that are not specific to one location. we're also scheduled to work xmas day. so i told everyone who is working that day to come see me at my cubicle and i'll give them cookies.
speaking of cookies, i lied when i said i would post the recipes. only because i haven't baked them yet, and 1 flavor is new. might not be a keep... same base recipe but different flavor. and how embarrassing would it be if it sucks ass and i'm like "yooo try this cookie".
other than that i have been busy being santa, meaning getting presents so for obvious reasons i cannot talk about that. even though i only got gifts for my brother, and parents, and none of them read my blog. but i am a very Practical gift person. like paying for my dads car registration. or getting a car detailed. great gifts for car pilled americans. so they're boring gifts is what i'm saying. and i'm trying to finish all the books that i have partially read. i have a huge problem with 95%ing things and just Never Finishing Them because endings make me kind of sad in a way thats hard to explain in a reasonable way. you only get to experience anything for the first time once and i'm just trying to stretch that out as long as possible. but my current stack is 4. i'll probably finish them all.
omg i forgot to mention i'm like almost not sick (: i have a cough which will probably linger for a few more weeks but everything else is basically gone. thank god.
end of the year makes me feel reflective and intent on starting the next year off well. so i've been thinking about what kinds of things that i want out of next year, from myself and other people. like someone hit me up this past week asking to hang out, but i know they are going through some shit. and after kind of ignoring me for over a year at this point and other history of seemingly being the friend they go to when things are Bad i'm kind of sick of being an emotional support friend!! feels fucked up to say!!! i feel bad that things are happening to them but i can't will myself to act like it. it wouldn't be the first or second or third time i've put this person first just to help them out of a bad spot they put themselves right back in. and when you're in your 20s life is kind of crazy i guess, and its understandable but were in our 30s and at this point its just a character flaw that i dont know if i can support anymore. this is making me feel really guilty though. i feel worse about wanting to avoid them than the situation they're in that i have only heard through other people. and in fact i've been dreading this possibility for nearly a month now and told them i'm busy until jan 5th which is more or less true because its the holidays. but i just need time to prep myself into acting like i'm surprised or even care. i'm just very indifferent. i have a really faulty personality.
so unfortunately i've been really in my head this past week. not all bad things though. might make a page just of things i want to do irl with people so when people want to hang out i have a list of little quests and activities we can do together. i've been making a lot of little lists, which has been surprisingly enjoyable. like CDs to buy, things to do in boston, and some goals for next year. first on that list is stop funding my coworkers gambling addiction.
i watched (listened) to this video yesterday. and its been on my mind since. i dont know why it popped up in my feed because i have never played this game. but i loved the title so i watched. btw this video spoiled the game for me and i still want to play it... also makes me want to read the girl with the dragon tattoo. marketing books towards men is always funny (pointless) because i think 21% of american adults are functionally illiterate and i'm sure thats mostly because "reading is gay" so most reading is done by women. and what i'm trying to subtly imply is that men cant read. im kidding kind of, its more like they don't read.
oops i hit my link quota!! bye!!