its already september,,,
i'm not going to talk about the speed of the passage of time. we're all aware of it and i have nothing good to add. next month i'll turn 32.
i realized i blog out of procrastination. i don't know whats been wrong with me lately.
i've been wanting to create some type of 'week notes' style posts, although i don't think a weekly basis is possible for me. i don't know whats stopping me other than possibly confronting the fact that i feel like i'm not doing anything of value. am i losing my personality and interests? it feels like it. the internet feels harder lately.
i guess i need to lower my standards and expectations of what to post because i feel some kind of creative block. for some people blogging might take a lot of energy and effort. i'm not that precious with this. i'm literally just too lazy to open up my laptop. i have notes and thought scrawled out in notebooks or notes apps, but putting it into a post is the biggest hiccup.
september feels like temporary time. it feels somewhat like the start of a new year and time for change. it doesn't really feel real. kind of like how i keep forgetting the month of may exists and every april i message my best friend that her birthday is next month and ask if she has any plans. but her birthday is june.
i'm going to japan next month and i have nothing planned. like no hotel, no idea of where i should go besides seeing misaki. i considered going to taiwan for a few days but nick didn't feel comfortable with me going alone. so now that i'm going back i really need to make a post about the last few times i went to japan. its pretty much drafted already i just feel some fear of hitting post. i've been like that for years. tomorrow i'm off also, debating if i want to go to work. but maybe tomorrow is the day i post about japan, just to get it over with. it feels like its just a task at this point. i'm okay with being unhappy with the post because its just the internet and it doesnt matter because editing is a thing.
last week my alternator broke on my car. my car died at a gas station. i got a jump, and felt my car dying as a drove it. i've been stuck at home in the heatwave. which should be a good excuse for me to finally start blogging things i've drafted up. but i'm only human.
i should go cook lunch.
anyways, how are you?